Laraine Blogtista

TL;DR. Here’s what happened on my first day of immersion.

• I got to the ICU and was told that my nurse was being floated. So I floated with her to the cardiac unit.
• One of our patients was a 101-year-old lady. She was our healthiest.
• She was in for pancytopenia. Other than that, she was completely alert and oriented, walking and talking. 
• I helped her walk to the bathroom. When I asked her if she needed help in there, she was like, “No! I’ve been doing this for a hundred years!”
• When I was putting lip balm on her lips she puckered up and made kissy noises. OMG such a fantastic old lady.
• Also her 60-year-old son came to visit and he is also the nicest.
• I felt like an idiot many times, especially during the first half of the day. Especially when I spilled 2ml of dilaudid all over the med room. Uuugghhhh vials are slippery little assholes.
• I got three slaps on the back from the Australian nurse who reminded me of Steve Irwin. He was thanking me for doing all of his q2hr blood glucose checks. SLAPS ON THE BACK. Like I was one of the boys or something. I was trying to be cool and said, “Of course, no problem!” but inside I was screaming. 
• Everyone kept talking about how great UCLA’s hospital must be and I replied with tales of the spacious rooms, each with it’s own monitor. We decided that UCLA is the Waldorf Astoria of hospitals.
• I was putting on a condom catheter for the first time and my nurse asked if I’d ever put a condom on anyone. I answered no after a pause and we both smiled because my virginity was discovered on my first day of immersion.
• One of the care partners was talking to me about how she just finished nursing school and is taking a Kaplan review course for the NCLEX. She said, “For one of our review sessions, the instructor couldn’t come so she had an emergency substitute. Do you know Barbara…”
• And I said, “Barbara Demman?! OMG YES!”
• And she started freaking out about Barbie the way anyone who has ever met Barbie freaks out about her. “She’s AMAZING. She is just unbelievable. She is SO GREAT.”
• Major Barbara Demman fangirling.
• And last but not least, I drove and I didn’t die.